The Unbearable Weight of Our Grievances

Over a pan of cooking eggs, I started thinking about the term “pet peeve,” and that’s what started me on the path to conviction. If any of you has as many of them as I do, perhaps they are no longer pets. Perhaps we are unwittingly running farms of discontent. I live in a small 1955 house in central Austin. I lived here when I was single, and for the past six years, I’ve enjoyed the additional company of two pets: a cat and a husband. Any more furry companions, and it would be one crowded house. However, when it comes to annoyances (some of them surprisingly and inexplicably specific), I can often be the crazy cat lady whose house you can sniff out a block away.

As I read the digests of some listserves, I find myself cheering, booing, saying, “yeah!” or “aw, come on…” out loud to my computer screen. A couple years of this has finally led to conviction one morning. In my resonance and disagreement with posts I’ve read, I’ve recognized I have more pet peeves than one person should ever possess. I won’t even start to enumerate them here, since I know 1) it will tempt too many of you to have those same (yeah! or aw…) responses I have and 2) they will irk me all over again, just thinking about them.

The thing is, I fear these small acts that make me wince really carry the same burden as some more serious wrongs committed against me in the past – some of which I’m sad to say I haven’t fully forgiven. The wrongdoer may not continue to carry those burdens, but in my resentment, I do. And I have enough on my shoulders without that added weight.

I know everybody has an axe to grind (but does it need to be in public? Can we find a private shed?), and I know sometimes we have questions we pose out of innocent curiosity, which we hope someone else on the listserve can answer. But may I suggest (out of pure selfish desire - and for my soul’s preservation) that before any among us shoots off quick responses triggered purely out of annoyance, s/he take a second to ask if it’s really contributing to the collective knowledgebase? This is to say, responses totaling, “Yeah, that annoys the heck out of me, argh!” might not qualify as a contribution to the greater good…

Okay, I know I will annoy some people simply by posting this. I might even inspire anger in others. This isn't meant to point a finger as much as it is meant to share my recognition of my own weaknesses. Also, I know someone is bound to ask me for at least one pet peeve, so I’ll give in: Replies to the listserve digest that include the entire digest so you have to scroll 3 pages to get to the next message. God, save me.

On a lighter parting note, a friend once told me, "Nothing ticks me off more than negativity!"

May updates - see you on the road!

What a cool year already. I'm having more fun playing with the guys in my band than I ever have. And that goes for my Willing Company in Austin (Will, Plank, Dave, Paul, and Todd) as well as for the Stately Ladies in NYC (Rico, Jagoda, and Matt). It's an incredible feeling to stand on a stage and be pushed as a musician in the company of great friends and to play for such appreciative and encouraging audiences. I still say I have the best job in the world.

May is going to be busy, busy... I'll be on the road most of the month: first to the west coast for a date in Felton, CA (near San Jose) at Don Quixote's then to New York City and down the east coast back to home sweet home...Kerrville.

If I'm going to be anywhere near your town, I'd love to see you. It would be so wonderful to see friendly faces in the crowd. Here are my dates for May:

9 - Felton, CA - with Rich Feridun

13 - New York, NY - with Rich Feridun, Jagoda, and Jeremy Chatzsky

14 - New York, NY - with Rich Feridun and Jagoda

15 - Titusville, NJ - co-bill with the Kennedys, Anthony Dacosta, and Seth Glier

16 - Easton, MD - with Finlay Morton & Sharif

18 - Raleigh, NC - solo show

20 - Nashville, TN - solo show

21 - Birmingham, AL - co-bill with Jeff Talmadge

22 - Memphis, TN - house concert, solo show

23 - Brownsville, TN - house concert, solo show

25 - Boerne, TX - radio show with live audience

29 - Kerrville, TX - with Will Sexton, Jeff Plankenhorn, Mail Man Dave, and Paul Prestridge

2009 Wrap-up... just moving it to the blog page.

Okay, it was time to update the "news" section of my website, so this 2009 wrap up is long overdue in its move to the blog page.

2009 has been a great year, and I am so grateful...

Since the album came out, it's been a flurry of activity for me this summer and fall. The west coast tour was so wonderful - what an honor to play for so many new listeners. I am convinced I have the very best job in the world. I also had the opportunity to work with top-notch folks - like Gurf, on the record, my band at so many shows, amazing sound technicians, my radio promoter Jenni, publicist Natalie, and new to my team: booking agent Nancy Fly. (And don't forget, I had a dream gig opening for the incredible Joan Baez!)

The Americana Music Association Conference was a great experience, and I loved meeting so many new (to me) artists and biz folks. Of course, it was also a great time to hear lots of old favorites... A special thanks to Pigeon O'Brien for showcasing me at her annual Posse Party at BB King's.

Mountain Stage was also great - What an honor to be among the winners of the Mountain Stage New Song Contest. It was a thrill to perform for such a rapt and generous audience.

Then of course, Europe... Our three-week tour through Switzerland, Germany, and the Netherlands was amazing in every way. So many new friends, incredible hospitality, gracious listeners, and countless magical musical moments. I'll never forget this first tour in continental Europe - and I hope I get to return sooner than later! One of my favorite aspects? Learning to be a better sideman! I had to get way out of my comfort zone and take leads on the guitar and accordion to compliment Abi Tapia and Charlie Faye during their turns to lead songs - and it was so stretching and exciting as a musician.

I was also incredibly honored to be on this year's KGSR Broadcasts CD set - Volume 17. It has been Jody Denberg's labor of love for so many years - and to be on the last one he produced is incredibly humbling to me. To be on it at all is a thrill - but to be on his parting project is a special thrill. It's only $15 for 2 CDs of exclusive live material - get your copy at Waterloo Records in Austin, TX before they sell out - and they always do. The proceeds benefit the Sims Foundation, which helps Austin musicians receive mental wellness care when they need it.

2010 is shaping up to promise lots of great new adventures, including tons of fun shows in the works, the Folk Alliance conference in Memphis (where I have an official showcase. Yippee!), teaching at the Acoustic Alaska Guitar Camp (no - don't worry, no one's gonna expect me to teach anyone how to shred nasty-cool solos. I'll stick to subjects I know something about - songs and singing. ha ha...), and I'll also return to Sisters Folk Fest in Oregon next fall to teach at the Song Academy as well as to perform during the festival weekend.

Keep your eyes and ears peeled also for some great tour-pairings. I'm making some fun touring plans with some friends...so there ought to be some interesting co-bill shows for you to consider.

* WINNER * Sisters Folk Festival Songwriting Competition, Sisters, OR

* WINNER * Mountain Stage Newsong Songwriting Competition, Charleston, WV

* 2009 Performer *

International Folk Alliance Conference (official showcase)

Old Settler's Music Festival

Wildflower Festival

Kerrville Folk Festival

Big Top Chautauqua (in support of Joan Baez)

And 2009 was a great year to be in the studio! I'm overjoyed that my third full-length studio album emerged this year, produced by Gurf Morlix! Gurf's a first-rate human being, with gifted ears and guitar-picking fingers too. You can hear his work on his own records, Slaid Cleaves' records, Mary Gauthier's, Lucinda Williams' ...lots of others' too. I am so honored to have worked alongside a guy as cool as Gurf.

Thanks to Margaret Moser (Austin Chronicle), Michael Corcoran (Austin American-Statesman), Tom Buckley and Richard Skanse (Texas Music), Tom Geddie, and countless others for your kind reviews... Thanks also to independent radio music directors who have played our music and made us feel famous.

Save the Cactus Cafe

Like many of my friends, I have been deeply disturbed by the nature of the dialog surrounding the impending fate of the Cactus Cafe - my
favorite listening room in Austin. There's too much to post here about the recent history of what is going on, but I wanted to let you know where I
stand on the issue... this is a brief statement I put today on the UT website where they have invited comments on the decision. I also encourage
you to visit the site and read my friend Tiffany Walker's amazing argument: https://blogs.utexas.edu/cactuscafe/2010/04/06/hello-
world/#comments

Here is what I posted today:

As a graduate of UT Austin (and former academic and athletic scholarship recipient) as well as a working Austin musician, it pains me to see the
Cactus Cafe in any need of defense. The value of this historic venue seems self-evident; unfortunately, that seems not to be the case.

It seems strange to me that I went to the University of Texas to build skills and maturity for a career - and the two things on her 40 acres that most
contributed to the career I have are in danger: The Cactus Cafe - which builds artists' careers rather than focusing on the bottom line one night
at a time, and the Informal Class I took on songwriting that gave me the initial confidence I needed to pen my own songs.

For such a small budget deficit, it seems ludicrous for the University to end such important connections to the surrounding community. How many
part-time jobs will be lost due to the demise of the Informal Class program? I'm sure there are other ways to make up the budget shortfall that will
adversely affect fewer pocketbooks.

As for the Cactus Cafe - what more can be said than has already been said? It is the greatest listening room in town. Despite the University's
refusal to support it with parking or accessible load-in areas and a host of other conveniences, it has continued to receive accolades - not just in
our fair city but across the nation and abroad. And despite personal and petty disagreements and grudges that I suspect are behind its current
threatened existence, I doubt this reputation would be what it is without the longtime dedication of its current staff and management.

I have already heard from many personal friends who are alumni of the University who have made it clear that these recent announcements from
the Union - and the records as they became public - have negatively impacted their desire to continue giving to the University now and in the
future. I wonder: has the school's administration considered the potential loss in financial support from alumni as it has presented poor proposal
after poor proposal and shown itself not able to act or speak in good faith?

New Year, New Resolutions

I've started thinking about resolutions for the new year, but I
haven't had a chance to fully gather my thoughts on them yet. I know,
that sounds so contrary to the whole notion: procrastinating on new
year's resolutions. But honestly, I need to sit down and have some
alone-time to think about how I'd like this next year to be
remembered, what I'd like to achieve, how I want to grow.

Growing up, my mother always had us sit down and write 3-5
resolutions. We were told to think about it seriously for the last
couple weeks of the year. We were supposed to think about how we
wanted to be different from how we were the previous year - or how we
might continue improving in areas of life that needed work.

Our resolutions were supposed to aim high while being reasonable,
measurable, achievable. We were mostly encouraged to make resolutions
about practices that affected our character more than anything else.

So often, I think of wise words from my friend Kathy shared with me
years ago. I remember telling her how frustrated I was with myself -
that the same character and personality flaws I've always hated about
myself since I was a child persisted despite all my desire to change.
Her response? We may not be all we wish we were, but thank god we are
not who we once were.

And it's true. I have only to look at myself 5 years ago and think of
the ways I know I've grown since then to know it's true. I may feel
unchanged, but I'm not.

So I'm thinking about this year ahead and how I'd like to look back at
it five years from now. I want to say, "yes, that changed for me that
year; I made a resolution." Of course, I don't want them to be binding
oaths that keep me from being free and flexible. But I'd like them to
be meaningful and memorable. Let's see how I do.

Reading for pleasure

I'm reading Anna Karenina. Again. Well, not exactly "again"... I pick
up where I left off every time I'm at mom & daddy's house. It's so
good I always think, "how did I ever put this down?!" But I do. Every
time I leave.

I guess at their house, I relax a little more than almost anywhere
else. The unfortunate aspect of working from my home is that I never
leave the office. I can become so engaged all the time that I end up
working way too many hours in a day.

On other fronts of the mom & daddy's house vacation landscape, I think
I've gained about 5 pounds in 3 days from all the delicious Korean
food my grandma's been dishing my way. So amazingly delicious!!

Already jaded?

So update on my life from the past few hours: this flight is annoying. At least I have a pleasant rowmate. AND at least I got to carry my guitar on, no problem. Maybe after the whole "United Breaks Guitars" YouTube debacle, they're extra conscious. Who knows? Okay so I'm thankful for those things. 

Anyway, my flight didn't BOARD until 1pm - we were supposed to depart at 11:45. And they haven't made a single announcement about why they were delayed or what time they anticipate our landing. There wasn't even anyone at our gate until 12:50. So that is frustrating too. Oh well. 

On a more personal level, I drank a whole can of cranapple and need to pee like a caged dog. But they keep running into pockets of turbulence, so we're all chained to our seats. Of all things to drink and not be able to pee...Cranapple!! Why? Why? 

When we boarded the plane, they announced someone with a peanut allergy was on board, and they needed to know if anyone brought any peanut products onto the plane. If you had any nuts or nut products, you needed to ring your call button to alert a flight attendant. An older woman a row ahead of me anxiously rang while grasping her (delicious looking) Mrs. Mays snack bag. 

That must be one serious allergic reaction. You can't be on the same plane with peanuts?! It's an airplane! You were just in an airport! It's like peanut Mecca in there! Okay, in all seriousness, I'm sure there was a parent preventing the worst case scenario and making sure they weren't seated RIGHT behind someone with an economy-size canister of Planters who might drop some carelessly or offer their clueless (and deathly allergic) toddler a legume of the Knowledge of Good and Evil when the parent accidentally nodded off during the flight.

Which makes also smile... thinking about how the Worst Case Scenario is different for different people. Remember that book made popular years ago, something like the Worst Case Scenario survival handbook?  Maybe there should be a series of them like the Dummy instruction manuals, based on different people's fears and legitimate (though circumstancial or specific) concerns. Like the Worst Case Scenario Handbook for thr Incontinent. I could almost use that one for pointers now.