Airport life lessons

I aimed the phone to protect the innocent... But yes, this family had
eight kids. Well-behaved kiddos but still eight kids. With a hot mom
who looked about five years older and the same size as her teenage
daughter.

And here's life lesson #1: even if you're young and energetic and your
kids are good kids, it's still a freaking lot of kids. And they're
loud, even if each one is using his or her "inside voice." And they
cost a ton of money. Poor dad had to take the kids in three trips to
the vending machines just to keep it manageable, and he probably spent
thirty bucks on fritos and skittles.

Lesson #2: people are gonna stare and try to figure out the
mathematics of what is essentially none of their business. I certainly
did. This goes beyond the kids. Anything unusual? Gonna stare. Or keep
looking back. Kinda like when I was in Wisconsin in a small town and
people spoke really slowly to me.

Lesson #3: don't trust the "house specialties" in an airport
restaurant. Be prepared to be as disappointed as ever. It's still
airport food. I was telling this to a friend of mine, and he said
"that's why people eat at McDonalds - all they sell is consistency. Oh
well, that's not true, their fries are delicious."