The Unbearable Weight of Our Grievances

Over a pan of cooking eggs, I started thinking about the term “pet peeve,” and that’s what started me on the path to conviction. If any of you has as many of them as I do, perhaps they are no longer pets. Perhaps we are unwittingly running farms of discontent. I live in a small 1955 house in central Austin. I lived here when I was single, and for the past six years, I’ve enjoyed the additional company of two pets: a cat and a husband. Any more furry companions, and it would be one crowded house. However, when it comes to annoyances (some of them surprisingly and inexplicably specific), I can often be the crazy cat lady whose house you can sniff out a block away.

As I read the digests of some listserves, I find myself cheering, booing, saying, “yeah!” or “aw, come on…” out loud to my computer screen. A couple years of this has finally led to conviction one morning. In my resonance and disagreement with posts I’ve read, I’ve recognized I have more pet peeves than one person should ever possess. I won’t even start to enumerate them here, since I know 1) it will tempt too many of you to have those same (yeah! or aw…) responses I have and 2) they will irk me all over again, just thinking about them.

The thing is, I fear these small acts that make me wince really carry the same burden as some more serious wrongs committed against me in the past – some of which I’m sad to say I haven’t fully forgiven. The wrongdoer may not continue to carry those burdens, but in my resentment, I do. And I have enough on my shoulders without that added weight.

I know everybody has an axe to grind (but does it need to be in public? Can we find a private shed?), and I know sometimes we have questions we pose out of innocent curiosity, which we hope someone else on the listserve can answer. But may I suggest (out of pure selfish desire - and for my soul’s preservation) that before any among us shoots off quick responses triggered purely out of annoyance, s/he take a second to ask if it’s really contributing to the collective knowledgebase? This is to say, responses totaling, “Yeah, that annoys the heck out of me, argh!” might not qualify as a contribution to the greater good…

Okay, I know I will annoy some people simply by posting this. I might even inspire anger in others. This isn't meant to point a finger as much as it is meant to share my recognition of my own weaknesses. Also, I know someone is bound to ask me for at least one pet peeve, so I’ll give in: Replies to the listserve digest that include the entire digest so you have to scroll 3 pages to get to the next message. God, save me.

On a lighter parting note, a friend once told me, "Nothing ticks me off more than negativity!"